1:00AM - Running on three hours of sleep spread out between 38 hours is like running a car on vaginal discharge whilst trying to drive from Sydney to Broken Hill.
I can't begin to describe what it's like facing nighttime and not being able to sleep. So this blog post is going to give you a bit of a general idea. This blog post is also going to be by far the worst thing I've ever written. And I used to write poetry.
This is my official descent into madness. I hope you are all happy.
1:21AM - I should just become a burlesque dancer. Seriously, how hard could it be? I'd be a hot neurotic sarcastic burlesque dancing bitch with a pistol stuck through my garter. I'll save tips up to get a boob job. Then I'll take lessons learning how to sing like Whitney Housten. I'll Catherine Zeta Jones the town of Chicago.
I'm so deleting this shitty blog once I become some respectable self-hating lawyer bitch.
1:42AM - I cannot be bothered to draw comics this blog post. Fuck all of you. I can do what I want. I'm not your monkey. I am an independent woman who still reckons if a guy doesn't pay for my meal the first date round he is a bit of a cheapskate.
Oh no.
2:13AM - Quienten Tarintino has the weirdest face. I'm going through his google images right now and he actually makes the weirdest poses. Here are a few combined with my attempts to look like Quentin Tarantino's face.
2:51AM - I should explain why I'm wearing pig tails. I'm wearing pig tails because my hair is disgusting. It legitimately looks and feels like cement mix. Unfortunately I don't have any proper hair elastics because I am an awful human female. Fortunately, I found this paperclip things that would bunch my hair together, but it would only fit around small portions of my hair. So I tied up my hair in three main sections. Technically, I don't have pigtails considering I have my hair tied up in three knots.
I'm not sure what animal that hairstyle would be called after.
Cat tails?
Cat of nine tails?
...of fuck you. No one's forcing you to read this blog.
3:29AM - So I'm reading this book about democracies and revolutions. It's pretty futile attempting to read when you've got insomnia, considering your mind can't focus or process tangible information. Your cognitive processes basically live independent from your body in a dissociative state when you haven't gotten enough sleep.
Irregardless, I attempted to read because I live on the edge. I read this and immediately laughed like a fucking maniac:
3:49AM -- A few days ago i saw this guy in tight leather shorts riding a bicycle and every time he pedaled bubbles would generate from the back of his bike, evaporating uselessly into the atmosphere like the dreams of new parents. He had this shit eating grin on his face, like as if he was the queen of the world. He also was singing when I was trying to read my reading university things. I hated him instantly. I wanted him to ride into a sharp pebble. A sharp pebble so sharp it would rip his bicycle tyres, disconnect from it's frame and ricochet onto his face causing a rupture in his Temporal lobe.
Btw, i had to look up a brain map to pick out which part of the brain i wanted him to be damaged in. That's how much this guy annoyed me.
Don't believe me?
Well fuck you.
Here's proof of me looking at a picture of a brain:
4:01AM - What is life?
4:10AM - dog was like 'arf arf' in the backyard. and i thought there could have been a robber so i went outside. but i didn't so much went as i did sway outside because i can't really feel legs at present moment. anyways my crazy dog was all like 'arf arf arf' again. so i called him inside so he would shut the fuck up. he came to me and was like 'i only like you because you feed me' and i'm like 'what?'. and my dog looked at me in this judgemental way that said 'stop projecting your manic depression onto me'. then he licked the bottom of my foot, which was actually the bit with nail and i got really paranoid because i havent washed my feet properly since yesterday so i tried to push him away but ended up kicking him in the snout. so then he got sad because he thought i was being abusive. but i'm not abusive. i just have really bad self defense mechanisms that make me come off as indifferent when really i am dying on the inside and just want something to hug. so i gave him a hug and he licked my face.
I can't begin to describe what it's like facing nighttime and not being able to sleep. So this blog post is going to give you a bit of a general idea. This blog post is also going to be by far the worst thing I've ever written. And I used to write poetry.
This is my official descent into madness. I hope you are all happy.
1:21AM - I should just become a burlesque dancer. Seriously, how hard could it be? I'd be a hot neurotic sarcastic burlesque dancing bitch with a pistol stuck through my garter. I'll save tips up to get a boob job. Then I'll take lessons learning how to sing like Whitney Housten. I'll Catherine Zeta Jones the town of Chicago.
I'm so deleting this shitty blog once I become some respectable self-hating lawyer bitch.
1:42AM - I cannot be bothered to draw comics this blog post. Fuck all of you. I can do what I want. I'm not your monkey. I am an independent woman who still reckons if a guy doesn't pay for my meal the first date round he is a bit of a cheapskate.
2:13AM - Quienten Tarintino has the weirdest face. I'm going through his google images right now and he actually makes the weirdest poses. Here are a few combined with my attempts to look like Quentin Tarantino's face.
"Bitch, 'Pulp Fiction' will be forever regarded as the best thing ever, so suck my dick"
"I am a fucking genius"
"But also a douchebag"
"I pay 'homage' to foreign films"
"This is how I fingered him."
2:21AM - Oh what's that insecure internet teenage girls? You're judging me for wearing make up after seeing all these photos despite the fact that it's 3:21AM in the morning?
Well suck my dick. The bathroom is far away and I have run out of make up remover and I can't sleep. I hate you. I'll do it later. Why don't you project your insecurities on someone else for a change.
I'm not sure what animal that hairstyle would be called after.
Cat tails?
Cat of nine tails?
...of fuck you. No one's forcing you to read this blog.
3:29AM - So I'm reading this book about democracies and revolutions. It's pretty futile attempting to read when you've got insomnia, considering your mind can't focus or process tangible information. Your cognitive processes basically live independent from your body in a dissociative state when you haven't gotten enough sleep.
Irregardless, I attempted to read because I live on the edge. I read this and immediately laughed like a fucking maniac:
It has everything to do with the fact that I can't comprehend information and thought this was literal. the I imagined a picture of some starving African gnawing on the sides of democracy, attempting to eat it. Then I laughed even harder because that's a fucked up thing to laugh at.
I wonder what democracy tastes like.
3:49AM -- A few days ago i saw this guy in tight leather shorts riding a bicycle and every time he pedaled bubbles would generate from the back of his bike, evaporating uselessly into the atmosphere like the dreams of new parents. He had this shit eating grin on his face, like as if he was the queen of the world. He also was singing when I was trying to read my reading university things. I hated him instantly. I wanted him to ride into a sharp pebble. A sharp pebble so sharp it would rip his bicycle tyres, disconnect from it's frame and ricochet onto his face causing a rupture in his Temporal lobe.
Btw, i had to look up a brain map to pick out which part of the brain i wanted him to be damaged in. That's how much this guy annoyed me.
Don't believe me?
Well fuck you.
Here's proof of me looking at a picture of a brain:
4:01AM - What is life?
4:10AM - dog was like 'arf arf' in the backyard. and i thought there could have been a robber so i went outside. but i didn't so much went as i did sway outside because i can't really feel legs at present moment. anyways my crazy dog was all like 'arf arf arf' again. so i called him inside so he would shut the fuck up. he came to me and was like 'i only like you because you feed me' and i'm like 'what?'. and my dog looked at me in this judgemental way that said 'stop projecting your manic depression onto me'. then he licked the bottom of my foot, which was actually the bit with nail and i got really paranoid because i havent washed my feet properly since yesterday so i tried to push him away but ended up kicking him in the snout. so then he got sad because he thought i was being abusive. but i'm not abusive. i just have really bad self defense mechanisms that make me come off as indifferent when really i am dying on the inside and just want something to hug. so i gave him a hug and he licked my face.
then i had to wash my face because dogs like to lick their balls.
4:27AM - i think i might be able fall asleep now
(my dog may be a dick, but he's also super cute. PS: stop perving on his weeny)
4:27AM - i think i might be able fall asleep now
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