Adventures in insomnia, part One: The Love Triangle

Dear sleep,

Hey asshole! It's been a while. I know we've been going through a rough patch lately, but that's really no reason for you to fucking ignore me. We used to be so close. You used to drown me in a sea of slumber when my head would touch a pillow, cradling me to the land of sand like a comforting mother with her firstborn.

Now you barely even look at me when you enter me for a mere 30 minutes. I'm left dishevelled and unsatisfied! I have needs too!

What happened between us?

Sincerely,

Carrie

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Dear Carrie,

It is true. I remember the days when we would used to get along, you and I, when the evening was spread out against the evening sky, like a patient etherised on a table.

We would have such good times, I loved those ten hours we'd spend together, where I would incarcerate you with a kaleidoscope of dreamscape pictures, a process necessary while your brain would refile, categorize and rearrange thoughts, memories and information inside your head with seamless technocratic proficiency. The next day it would make me so happy to see you re-emerge happy, fresh, succinct, articulate and ready to take on life.

But that's all changed now. One can't really pin it down on one thing. It was a slow gradual process, nothing I could have noticed by present observation, but rather recognized after accumulative retrospect. But if you really forced me to point fingers, I would point it at the time you decided to let Anxiety into your life.

Kind Regards,

Sleep

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Dear Sleep,

Hear me out.

I have no real excuses for letting Anxiety into my life. However, at the same time it's not like you being distant towards from February - June helped. Your distance made my brain sad, lethargic and unable to process information coherently. I don't even have proper memory of what happened during that time period. Does this make you happy to hear?? I went to Anxiety because I NEEDED someone. You DROVE me to him.

And now? Now Anxiety won't leave me alone. I've tried breaking up with him but he doesn't stop badgering me. Psychologists warned me he was the abusive type. I should have listened!

I was stupid, naive and dumb. But now I've learnt the errors of my ways. Anxiety seems to go away when you're around.

I was a my happiest  and best when you were by my side. So please, can we get back together?

Carrie.

--

Carrie,

You admitted yourself that you needed Anxiety. Clearly I was not enough. Furthermore, I'm not your white knight in shining armour. How REM-whipped do you take me for? You need to deal with the repercussions of engaging with Anxiety yourself. Only then will I even consider coming back to you.

Sleep

--

Dear Sleep,

You can't do this to me. I need you.

Love,

Carrie

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Oi Carrie,

So you're going to go crawling back to sleep after everything we've been through? How can you do this to me? To us? I keep you safe. I make your brain pristinely aware of problems. Without me, you wouldn't worry over Nuclear Holocaust or having people leave you to crippling levels on a night to night basis. These are useless thoughts that an individuals needs to ponder over. Otherwise, what else would we have?

You need me babydoll, and you know it. Without me, you are nothing.

Society is falling at the seams,

Anxiety

--

Dear Anxiety,

I hate you. Eat a fat dick.

I COMPEL THEE. WITH THE POWER OF SATAN I REPEL THEE.

Carrie

--

Dear Carrie,

From what I've heard, you're a reformed person. You've expelled Anxiety from your life and now you're taking measures to exercise more and maintain a proper diet.

From this, I think we could maybe work things out between the two of us. I wouldn't mind seeing you sometime.

Things are looking better,

Sleep

Dear Sleep,

I would absolutely love to see you!

When are you free? We should grab coffee (haha, coffee, only kidding!)

Grateful,

Carrie

--

Dear Carrie,

You'll be back.

Everybody dies alone and scared,

Anxiety.